Désert de Retz

Description

Let me tell you about a hidden gem I stumbled upon during my travels through France – the Désert de Retz. This ain’t your typical garden, folks. It’s a quirky, one-of-a-kind place that’ll make you feel like you’ve stepped into some surreal dreamscape.

Picture this: you’re wandering through a lush forest when suddenly, you come across a giant cracked column rising up from the ground. No, you haven’t accidentally stumbled onto a movie set – that’s just one of the wild and wacky follies scattered throughout this 18th-century wonderland.

The Désert de Retz is the brainchild of François Racine de Monville, a wealthy aristocrat with a flair for the dramatic. This guy decided to turn his country estate into a fantastical landscape filled with architectural oddities and exotic plants. And boy, did he succeed!

As you explore, you’ll encounter all sorts of bizarre structures. There’s a pyramid-shaped icehouse, a ruined Gothic church, and even a house shaped like a broken column (yep, that’s the one I mentioned earlier). It’s like someone took a bunch of architectural styles, threw ’em in a blender, and sprinkled the result across the countryside.

But it’s not all about the buildings. The gardens themselves are a sight to behold, with winding paths leading you through groves of ancient trees, past tranquil ponds, and into secret glades. It’s the perfect spot for letting your imagination run wild – I found myself half-expecting to see fairies flitting between the flowers or a mythical beast lurking behind a tree trunk.

Now, I gotta be honest – this place isn’t for everyone. If you’re looking for perfectly manicured lawns and orderly flower beds, you might wanna look elsewhere. The Désert de Retz has a wild, slightly overgrown charm that some folks might find a bit shabby. But personally? I think that’s part of its appeal. It feels like you’re discovering something secret and forgotten, which adds to the whole mystical vibe.

One thing’s for sure – you won’t find another place quite like this. The Désert de Retz is a testament to one man’s eccentric vision and a reminder that sometimes, the most interesting places are the ones that don’t fit neatly into any category. So if you’re up for a bit of an adventure and don’t mind letting your imagination run wild, this might just be the spot for you.

Key Features

• The Broken Column House: A livable structure designed to look like a massive, crumbling Doric column. It’s as bizarre as it sounds, and totally awesome.

• The Chinese House: A charming little pagoda-style building that’ll make you feel like you’ve been transported to the Far East.

• The Pyramid Ice House: An honest-to-goodness pyramid smack in the middle of France. Used to store ice back in the day, now it’s just cool to look at (pun intended).

• The Temple of Pan: A round, domed structure dedicated to the Greek god of nature. Perfect for pretending you’re an ancient deity for a hot minute.

• The Ruined Gothic Church: Not actually ruined, just built to look that way. Because why not?

• The Tartar Tent: A stone building designed to look like a nomadic tent. Talk about architectural trickery!

• Extensive Gardens: Winding paths, hidden grottos, and a mix of native and exotic plants that’ll make any nature lover swoon.

• Ancient Trees: Some of these bad boys are over 200 years old. Show some respect, people!

• The Reflecting Pool: A serene body of water that’s perfect for contemplating life’s mysteries… or just taking a really good selfie.

• The Grotto: A man-made cave that’s equal parts creepy and cool. Bring a flashlight!

Best Time to Visit

Alright, let’s talk timing. When should you pack your bags and head to the Désert de Retz? Well, like most outdoor attractions in France, this place really shines during the warmer months. But don’t worry, I’m not gonna give you some vague “spring to fall” recommendation and call it a day. Let’s break it down, shall we?

If you ask me, the absolute best time to visit is late spring to early summer – we’re talking May to mid-June. Why? Well, for starters, the weather is generally pretty darn nice. You’ve got warm, sunny days without the scorching heat of midsummer. Plus, all those fancy plants and flowers are in full bloom, turning the whole place into a technicolor wonderland.

But here’s the real kicker – this is before the peak tourist season hits. That means you can explore without bumping elbows with hordes of other visitors. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than trying to soak in the mystical vibes of a ruined Gothic church when you’re surrounded by a busload of tourists snapping selfies.

Now, if you can’t make it in late spring, don’t sweat it. Summer (late June to August) is still a great time to visit. The gardens are lush and green, and the longer days mean more time to explore. Just be prepared for warmer temperatures and more crowds. Oh, and maybe pack a picnic – nothing beats munching on a baguette and some French cheese under the shade of a 200-year-old tree.

Fall (September to October) is another solid option. The crowds thin out, the temperatures cool down, and the changing leaves add a whole new dimension to the landscape. It’s particularly magical on those crisp, clear autumn days when the sunlight seems to make everything glow.

Winter? Eh, I’d give it a miss if I were you. A lot of the charm of this place is in its plant life, which goes dormant in the colder months. Plus, some of the structures might be closed for maintenance. Not to mention, traipsing around a damp, chilly garden in the dead of winter isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.

One last tip – try to visit on a weekday if you can. Weekends tend to be busier, especially during the summer months. And if you’re really lucky, you might even have some of those fantastical follies all to yourself. Now that’s what I call a magical experience!

How to Get There

Alright, folks, let’s talk about how to actually get to this wonderland of weirdness. The Désert de Retz is located in Chambourcy, a little town about 20 kilometers west of Paris. Now, I know what you’re thinking – “Great, another attraction that’s a pain to get to.” But fear not! It’s actually pretty doable, even if you’re not a seasoned traveler.

First things first – if you’re coming from Paris (which, let’s face it, most of you probably are), you’ve got a few options. The easiest, but priciest, is to grab a taxi or an Uber. It’ll take about 30-40 minutes depending on traffic, and you’ll get dropped off right at the entrance. Plus, you get to feel fancy being chauffeured through the French countryside. Win-win!

But if you’re more of a budget traveler (hey, no shame in that game), public transport is your friend. You can take the RER A train from Paris to Saint-Germain-en-Laye. It’s the last stop on the line, so you can’t miss it. From there, hop on bus 10 towards Chambourcy. The whole journey should take about an hour and a half.

Now, here’s where it gets a bit tricky. The bus doesn’t drop you off right at the Désert de Retz – you’ll need to walk about 15 minutes from the bus stop. But hey, consider it a warm-up for all the walking you’ll be doing in the garden. Just make sure you’ve got comfortable shoes!

If you’re driving (maybe you’ve rented a car to explore more of France), it’s pretty straightforward. Just punch “Désert de Retz, Chambourcy” into your GPS and follow the directions. There’s parking available on-site, so no need to stress about finding a spot.

One thing to keep in mind – the Désert de Retz isn’t open every day. Last time I checked, it was only open on Saturday afternoons and the first Sunday of each month from April to November. So make sure you plan your visit accordingly. Nothing worse than showing up to find locked gates!

Oh, and here’s a pro tip from yours truly – if you’re coming from Paris, why not make a day of it? Saint-Germain-en-Laye, where you change from train to bus, is a charming town with its own château and beautiful forest. You could spend the morning exploring there before heading to the Désert de Retz in the afternoon. Two awesome experiences for the price of one journey!

Tips for Visiting

Alright, future explorers of the Désert de Retz, listen up! I’m about to drop some knowledge that’ll help you make the most of your visit to this wonderfully weird place.

First off, wear comfortable shoes. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll be doing a fair bit of walking on uneven terrain, and those cute sandals you bought in Paris? They ain’t gonna cut it here. Think sturdy sneakers or hiking boots. Your feet will thank me later.

Next up – bring a camera. And I don’t mean your phone (although that’ll do in a pinch). The Désert de Retz is a photographer’s dream, with all its quirky structures and lush greenery. You’ll want to capture every nook and cranny of this place. Just remember to be respectful – no climbing on the follies for that perfect Instagram shot!

Speaking of respect, let’s talk about nature. The Désert de Retz is home to some pretty old and rare plants. So stick to the paths, don’t pick any flowers, and for the love of all that’s holy, don’t carve your initials into any trees. Let’s keep this place beautiful for future visitors, shall we?

Now, here’s something I wish someone had told me before my first visit – bring snacks and water. There’s no café on site, and trust me, you’ll work up an appetite wandering around. A picnic is a great idea if the weather’s nice. Just remember to take your trash with you when you leave.

Oh, and don’t forget to bring cash. Last time I checked, they didn’t accept cards for the entrance fee. Nothing worse than trekking all the way out there only to be turned away at the gate because you forgot to hit the ATM.

Here’s a tip for all you history buffs out there – consider hiring a guide. Yeah, you can wander around on your own and still have a great time, but a knowledgeable guide can really bring the place to life with stories about its creation and the eccentric aristocrat behind it all.

If you’re visiting in summer, don’t forget the sunscreen and insect repellent. Parts of the garden can be quite sunny, and those mosquitoes can be relentless. Trust me, itchy bug bites are not the souvenir you want to take home.

Lastly, and this might sound a bit woo-woo, but try to approach the Désert de Retz with an open mind and a sense of wonder. This isn’t your typical tourist attraction. It’s a place that rewards curiosity and imagination. So let yourself get a little lost (not literally, please), imagine what it might have been like in its heyday, and don’t be afraid to embrace the weirdness.

After all, where else can you have a picnic next to a giant broken column, pretend to be a Chinese emperor, and explore a fake ruined church all in one afternoon? Embrace the quirky charm of the Désert de Retz, and I promise you’ll have an experience you won’t forget anytime soon. Happy exploring, folks!

Location

Places to Stay Near Désert de Retz

Find Tours in Chambourcy

Explore More Travel Guides